An Open Letter to The Eldest Daughter...
The emotional labor we never asked for—but carry anyway.
Dear Eldest Daughter,
You are the glue.
The rock.
The “responsible one”
Born into a role you never asked for…
a first breath that came with built-in pressure.
There’s an invisible weight draped across your shoulders.
And you carry it so well, so quietly.
“you’re so strong”
To the outside world,
this weight looks like a delicate feather.
But really…
it’s a boulder in disguise.
The daily wear and tear taking it’s toll.
and yet…you show up anyway.
You always do.
Because it's wired into you.
it’s all you’ve ever known.
just like that quiet ache in your chest
when you watch a sibling move through life
so carefree.
their mind light, without the burden.
because you carry the worries
they’ve never had to consider.
because they’ve always had you.
Big sister. Plan B. Their tough loving safety net.
And you love being that.
And you hate it too.
You never asked for this
but here you are,
making it look easy.
you long to be soft.
To unravel.
To be held instead of always holding.
Even just for a day.
And beneath all of that?
lies the layers of guilt and unspoken expectations
Dear eldest daughter,
I feel your silent struggles.
I know your inner strength.
I see you.
I am you.
You are not alone.
"And you love being that.
And you hate it too."
As a fellow eldest daughter I relate so much. It's such a strong part of my identity, can't even imagine playing any other role in my family.
I've never felt so seen in my entire life as the eldest daughter. I'm constantly unseen and underappreciated. Thank you. I feel so validated. <3